Kitchen Lore & Wit

         

        Kitchen Witchery


        By Erika Northrop

        There must be a witch in the kitchen today
        Making magical things to eat I would say;
        For the air is scented with holiday spice
        And the house smells bewitchingly nice!
        Sweet potatoes, pumpkin and squash,
        Some milk, some eggs, and Oh m'gosh!
        A spell is at work, what a tasty suprise,
        As Mom turns the garden into holiday pies!


        You Know You're A Bad Cook When...


        * You use the smoke alarm as a cooking timer.

        * You consider it a culinary success if the pop-tart stays in one piece.

        * Your dog goes to the neighbors' to eat.

        * Your family buys Alka Seltzer and Kaopectate in bulk.

        * When you barbecue, two of your kids hold water guns and the third stands ready by the phone with 911 on speed-dial.

        * Your family automatically heads for the dinner table every time they hear a fire truck siren.

        * The EPA insists that all your garbage cans be marked with biohazard symbols.

        * Your microwave display reads "TILT!"

        * Your two best recipes are meatloaf and apple pie, but your dinner guests can't tell which is which.

        * Your pie-filling bubbles over and eats the enamel off the bottom of the oven.

        * You've used three boxes of scouring pads and a bottle of Drano and a crowbar, and that macaroni and cheese still won't let go of the pan.

        * Pest control companies keep pestering you for your recipes.

        * You make tuna noodle surprise and the surprise is that it glows in the dark and melts the silverware.

        * Your family prays AFTER they eat!


        A Food Correspondence Table for Magickal Workings


        (Organized by Intention)

        Love
        Spices- anise, basil, cardamom, chicory, cinnamon, clove, coriander, fennel, ginger, licorice, marjoram, poppy seed, rose, rosemary, thyme, vanilla Vegetables-beet, pea, rhubarb, sweet potato, tomato, truffle Fruits- apple, apricot, avocado, banana, carob, cherry, guava, lemon, lime, mango, nectarine, orange, papaya, passion fruit, peach, pineapple, quince, raspberry, strawberry, tamarind
        Nuts- brazil nut, chestnut, pine nut, pistachio
        Desserts- apple pie, brownies., carob bars, cherry vanilla ice cream, chocolate cake, chocolate ice cream, gingerbread, ginger ice cream, fudge ripple ice cream, lemon chiffon pie, key lime pie, Neapolitan ice cream, strawberry ice cream and pies made of any of the above listed fruits.
        Beverages- Crème de Cacao, dessert wines, Kirsch, lemonade, limeade, milk, orance curaco, white wine.
        Other foods- carob, chocolate in all forms, dill bread, fish, honey, maple syrup, pickles, rye bread, strawberry jam, sugar.

        Protection
        Spices and Herbs- basil, bay, black pepper, cayenne, clove, fennel, garlic, horseradish, marigold, mustard, paprika, parsley, rosemary
        Vegetables- artichoke, bamboo shoots, bean sprouts, bell pepper, bok choy, broccoli. brussel sprouts, cabbage, cauliflower, chili peppers, chives, collard greens, corn, horseradish, jalapeno, kohlrabi, leek, mustard, onion, poke, potato, radish, rhubarb, shallot, soybean sprouts, sunflower sprouts, tomatoes, watercress
        Fruits- blueberry, carambola, cranberry, mango, pineapple, plum, prickly pear, quince, raspberry, tangerine, Nuts and Seeds- almond, sesame, sunflower seeds, walnut
        Desserts- bell shaped cookies, blueberry coffee cake, cranberry sauce, pineapple pie, rhubarb pie, star shaped cookies
        Beverages- cranberry juice cocktail
        Other Foods- chili, curry, eggs, fried foods, garlic bread, hot foods, meat, nachos, Olive oil, pretzels, rice, salsa, Szechwan foods, spicy foods, tofu, tortilla, twisted breads, vinegar

        Healing
        Spices and herbs-allspice, garlic, peppermint, sage
        Vegetables- cucumber, olive, pumpkin, sprouts, tomato
        Fruits- apple, lemon, peach, pineapple, watermelon
        Other Foods- Almond, Apple Cider vinegar, cider, honey, kummel, marzipan, walnut

        Money
        Herbs and Spices- allspice, basil, cinnamon, clove, dill, ginger, parsley
        Vegetables-alfalfa sprouts, bean, black eyed peas, cabbage, eggplant, lettuce, pumpkin, spinach, tomato
        Fruits- banana, blackberry, fig, grape, kumquat, may apple, pear, pineapple, pomegranate
        Grains- barley, bran, buckwheat, millet, oat, rice
        Nuts- almond, brazil nuts, cashew, macadamia, peanut, pecan, pine nut, sesame
        Desserts- banana cream pie, butter pecan ice cream, blackberry pie, carob bars, candy, chocolate, chocolate covered bananas, chocolate ice cream, ginger bread, macadamia nut ice cream, maple sugar candy, marzipan, pecan pie, pralines, pralines and cream ice cream, whipped cream
        Other Foods- blackberry brandy, chocolate milk, crème de cocoa, maple syrup, milk, oat bran muffins

        Sex
        Herbs and spices- caraway, cardamom, coriander, licorice, parsley, peppermint, vanilla
        Vegetables- carrot, celery, endive, olive, sweet potato, truffle
        Fruits- blackberry, fig, mango
        Nuts and Grains- barley, sesame, rice
        Beverages-apricot brandy, chartreuse, cognac, plum wine, rum
        Other Foods- birds nest soup, caviar, champagne, clam chowder, coffee,
        crab. eggs, fig newtons, fish, havalah, honey, omelets, oysters, parmesan cheese, shellfish
        Especially for women- fig, oyster, mango
        Especially for men-bean, blackberry, carrot, olive, parsnip, papaya

        Spirituality
        Vegetables- corn, eggplant, bean sprouts, olive, soy bean sprouts, squash, zucchini
        Fruits- bananas, coconut, dates
        Other foods-butter, coconut cream pie, eggs, honey, milk, olive oil, saffron, tofu, corn tortillas, wine, vegetarian foods, yogurt
        AVOID THESE- artificially flavored foods, dried or dehydrated foods, meat, preserved foods, root crops, salt

        Psychic Awareness
        Herbs and spices-bay, celery seed, cinnamon, dandelion, lemon grass, mace, nutmeg, rose, thyme
        Vegetables- bamboo shoots, celery, mushrooms, soy bean sprouts
        Other Foods- coconut, dandelion root coffee, fish, fresh flowers, fresh juices. mulberry, peppermint tea, shellfish, soup of all kinds except potato, sprouted bread, sushi, tofu, vegetable soup
        AVOID !- alcohol, caffeine products, meat, root crops, salt

        Peace and Happiness
        Herbs and Spices-Cumin, marigold, marjoram, oregano, rose, saffron
        Vegetables-cucumber, lettuce, olive, Fruits-apple, apricot, passion fruit, peach, persimmon, raspberry
        Other Foods- celery soup, cheese pizza, chocolate, fish, honey, lemon pie, lentils, milk, saffron bread, saffron rice, wine
        AVOID-alcohol in excess, heavy foods, meat, root foods, salt, spicy foods, tea

        Purification
        Herbs and Spices-bay, black pepper, horseradish, peppermint, thyme, turmeric
        Fruits- coconut, grapefruit, guava, lemon, lime, melon, orange
        Other foods- anisette, beer, cream de menthe, flowers, fresh juices, honey, lemonade, lemon sorbet, onion soup, orange juice, peppermint tea Salt ( in moderation), shellfish, soups, steamed foods, vinegar, water ,yeast products
        AVOID- canned foods, dried foods, meat, preserved foods

        Weight Loss
        Herbs and spices- chickweed, dill, fennel
        Vegetables- celery, chervil, chives, kelp (and all seaweed), onion
        Other foods- apple cider, grape juice, honey, pickles
        AVOID- Fats, fried foods, salt, sugar

        Source: Scott Cunningham