"A Perfect Night"

 


"Cars & Guitars" by Tori Amos

"A Perfect Night"

Sitting by the fire and looking up at the stars
With you beside me, the night was ours
You told me I talk too much, but what I knew to be true
Was that the only one who kept talking was you.
Determined to conquer the mysteries in the air...
The names of the stars, and why you played with my hair.
And why you took my hand, for no real reason at all
And why you thought to beat you up, I would have to be tall.
Being with you was so effortless, I didn't need to try
I was content, and maybe a little bit high.
Listening to September on your car stereo
Yapping about the maintenance of your Fiero
In a perfect world, I wouldn't have had it any other way...
Except that maybe instead of saying goodnight
I would have asked you to stay.

"To the One in My Heart"

This is not just a poem, but a message for you
Hoping you will listen...I don't know if you do.
I feel a storm coming and who knows when it will be gone
No matter what happens...please hold on.
I don't know what will ever become of me
But nothing will darken my ability to see.
He can stifle my screams, and tear me apart
But nothing can ever remove from my heart
The beautiful dreams I once shared with you
The dreams I wished so hard would come true.
Being with you was heaven, I never wanted to go
There are still so many things that I want you to know.
You gave me hope, and that I will never forget
I have loved you since the moment we met.
Thank you for helping me find my voice,
I have realized in life we all have a choice.
We can choose to let our dreams wash away in the rain
Or we can choose to laugh and dance with the pain.
I don't know how much more I can take
It won't be long now before the levee breaks
I've tried to hold back as long as I could
I never wanted to lose you for good.
When the sky is overcast, and the cyclone is near
There is just one thing that I want you to hear
I love you just as I have from the start
And no storm could ever blow you out of my heart.

 

"The Cell"

Happiness is the sun on his face
A tap on the shoulder
A haphazard embrace
An accidental wink
And his fingers in my hair
I'm always looking
for signs that he cares
For years I've been trapped
In my own private hell
Of what-ifs and shouldn'ts
And secrets I can't tell
Thoughts and feelings buried deep
That to myself I must always keep.
There is nothing he ever needs to say
Being with him takes the pain away
His calm demeanor sets me at ease
Hearing his voice makes me weak in the knees
My heart can barely handle
the warmth of his breath
Never seeing him again scares me to death.
I hang on to every word and subtle gaze
But never solving this puzzling maze
The clues lead nowhere and rob me of youth
I've relied too much
On elixirs of truth.
The enigma never reveals
the mysteries in his eyes
The woman who loves him knows better,
but still tries.
All hope but lost
I long for something more
My dreams still plagued with what we shared
This love is hard to ignore.
Still I know that I must leave
There's nothing left to fight for
I need to find the strength
But I fear that what lies beyond this door...
Is another cell for me
to be trapped inside...
The key to my heart I will forever hide.

 

"Found and Lost"

I found you
in the most unlikely of places
Off the beaten path
Away from the 9 to 5 races.
I wasn't looking for love
I thought I had the closest thing
Someone else I cared for
had just given me a ring.

So I ignored my heart
Since many times it steered me wrong
I kept my love locked inside my heart
Thinking someday it would be gone.
But the feelings I have for you
Have grown stronger every day
For over 70,000 hours I've accepted
It would always be that way.

Meanwhile I learned the hard way
What love is and what it isn't
I spent years locked inside
someone else's prison
I spent years holding on to words
That never mean what they seem
Years of broken promises
and empty shattered dreams
But It took me years to learn
the hardest lesson of them all...
That the one who promised love
I was never meant to love at all.

I reached out to you
In my foolhearted game
Your disappointment killed me
But I only have myself to blame.
I risked everything to be your Dream Girl
Even for a spell
And for six days of heaven
I earned a lifetime of hell.
Despite how much I hurt you
And even though it would be insane
If given the chance I couldn't promise
That I wouldn't do it all again.

I hope you can forgive me
For the words you wish I'd never say
And for those that always seem to come out
In some awkward silly way.
This love has made me crazy
And its not something I could feign
You make me feel like someone
cracked open my skull
Wisked and scrambled my brain.

The sad truth is that I know
Even if we could be friends
There isn't anything I could do
To make you trust me again.
And even though its very difficult
I need to learn to accept my fate
Because any amount of apologies
Would be too little and too late.
I don't know if I can ever forgive myself
Or ever rise above
The fact that I hurt the one person
I really and truly love.

For another 70,000 hours
And perhaps my whole life through
I'll remember my greatest happiness
was the day that I found you.
What I did to you came with a price
And I will dearly pay the cost --
To be set adrift alone in love
With a man I long since lost.

 

Continue on the Journey